Please note: The following blog post is entirely fictional and not based on any true story. It is a new script I am working on hoping that I might be able to use it for my Final Year Project. In any case of likeness to any incidents, persons or life experiences are purely coincidental and I sincerely apologise and sympathize with you. I hereby give my deepest regrets and hope you will have a better life from here on out. Thank you very much and have a nice day.
Suddenly, all the past things I've done are down to nothing. I am not surprised. No one ever really understands because these people are all living in a sheltered life. What are these efforts I made over the last four years? Definitely not as much or near any comparision to "you-know-who"... All he needs to do is to do this for a few times in a week for over 1 year and there you go, he is the ultimate good boy. Polite like no other, helpful like no man can be. My life is expendable. I have to fend for myself even when i'm driven over the edge, I'm expected to keep cool even if i'm not able to. I must never complain because all complains will eventually come to naught. I must never make a big hoo haa because I'm nothing. Nothing to them, nothing to my mother. I often question myself of the value I am, in the heart of my mother. I love my grandmas alot because they recognize me by heart and soul. They will never betray me. They will never think little of me. They will always remember me. It is funny how man works. The right is often wrong in everyone's eye while the wrong is always basking in glory, spitting in the face of the right ones. Often people speak of being non-judgemental because no one has the right to judge. By the law of this common sense that surrounds us for ages, it is sometimes pretty obvious to a neutral party who is right and who is obviously wrong.
They say, 1 bad deed is all one needs to clear away all the good deeds one has accumulated. I for once, suffer under this rather unlogical logic. Because forced to the corners with no proper channel for frustrations, turn to an open media which caused an uproar. Now some may question, some may blame. And the WRONG takes this opportunity to strike. I am once again in the grey area, stained by past mistakes that wasn't even things I want or could've controlled.
Who? Who could've stand up and bear all these for four straight years, every night, never for once take a break from this mental and physical torment? Even if there is, I would say, I am sorry, I'm just a human. This is not a conveinent excuse. This is a cold hard fact that sometimes I wish otherwise. If I can split myself, I would've.
Don't judge me or teach me for you yourself does not know better. Have you never made any mistakes before? If you have, YOU of all people, have no rights of any sort to reprimand or preach me. And so in the end, you on a fit of an anger which is directly caused by you, told me off to your mother where in the end, becomes my fault. Because of your pitiful state, I am even seen far more insignificant. I am a scapegoat, a sandbag, a tool for use. You are precious, you are the only one of someone's who my mother so dearly loved and yet got bitten back.
For four years, from hoping for a short break, to hoping for a notice in advance. What more am i expected of? Don't I even have the slightest right to hope? What is the point of living anymore? I see no point in living, not for the shallowest of all shallow reason. I see no point in living. no point for a goal which my mother do not support. no point for a reason to breath for all I do is done for nothing. Why the hell do you call and ask? When in the end, you make me feel so anguish. When in the end, obviously I have no choice because if I do not, I will get scolded. I am left to fend for myself. I struggle to stay alive, because I do not want to fall asleep when I drive, because I fear dying like that will cause my family a get mess and cause troubles to people who I ram into. You do not understand because YOU DO NOT GO THROUGH WHAT I HAD WENT THROUGH. YOU SELFISH PITIFUL PERSON.
